MCU Mondays: Deadpool 2

So, I’m starting off my MCU Mondays with a movie that isn’t in the MCU (technically anyway. I have heard the X-Man Cinematic Universe referred to as being part of the MCU ages ago. But as I understand it, the official MCU only refers to the movies that led up to Infinity War and beyond).

Anyhoo. I’m starting with Deadpool 2.
This review contains many a spoiler, so if you haven’t seen it yet, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean seriously. It’s already out on DVD. Go and get it, watch it several dozen times (like I’m doing right now), and get back to me.

So, it occurred to me that I never actually reviewed Deadpool when I saw it opening weekend. Something I would usually never do. What with all the crowds, and expense, and underage kids, and people, and all the talking, and people and stuff. And yes, there were many underage kids at my screening, and that’s just bad parenting. I mean seriously. If you’re taking 10-year-old kids to Deadpool 2 opening weekend, how many times have they seen Deadpool 1? See. Just really bad parenting.
Surprisingly though, aside from the terrible parents, I got lucky with an awesome crowd. They were all laughing at the same times I was, and no one disturbed the movie in any way. It was actually a very enjoyable experience to watch a comedy with a theater filled with people who had the same sense of humour for once.
But I’m actually glad I forgot to do my review, because now I can also review the Super Duper *swear word* Cut.

On which. New X-Man DVD meant X-Men marathon. Hence the delay in this review. Again. Unfortunately, this also meant having to watch Logan again. I don’t like Logan. It’s a very depressing end to everything. Though I finally understood what happened to mutankind this time round. Somehow, I missed the meaning of that line from the exterminator guy, so it just kept bugging me where they all were. I mean, they have existed since Ancient Egypt building to being everywhere, either through a natural tipping point, or through the whole atomic era speeding up the process. Then they’re just gone?! But I understand that now, so I can’t count it as a fault anymore, but it still brings down the series. You watch them now and think about how pointless it all is, especially Days of Future Past. But. I’m hoping that, with Cable’s time traveling, we’re moving into a third timeline now. One that might have a better ending, and by ending I mean the mutants not ending.

Anyhoo.

So, The Super Duper *swear word* Cut DVD (well, technically not DVD, but I refuse to show support for the marketing ploy that is those other disks) comes with TWO versions, the Theatrical Cut and the – wait for it – Super Duper *swear word* Cut.
Now, on the cover it just says that there’s 15 extra minutes in the Super Duper *swear word* Cut, but that’s not entirely true.
Do you remember the outtakes from Deadpool 1? How many other awesome jokes there were, because they just had the funniest cast in the world? Well this time, they used them. That’s right. In the Super Duper *swear word* Cut they swapped out a bunch of jokes with some of the alternatives. What this means is, you will always need both disks. Because both cuts have awesome stuff the other doesn’t. Some is just a different line. But then others, like Wade being told about his first mission, is completely different.

What are the awesome 15 extra minutes in the Super Duper *swear word* Cut you may ask. Well, I won’t spoil, but if anyone else remembers sitting in the theater and loving the mid-credits scene, and then waiting for the post-credit scene, whilst the staff get more and more annoyed at you for not leaving so they can clean, only for the movie to end with no post-credit scene, guess what. (phew, that was a long sentence with lots of commas). Yep, you guessed it. There is a post-credit scene after all.
There was also some other stuff squished in there, like a very long shot of Cable walking and not quite knowing what to do with the mega gun he’s carrying. And can I just say, scuba suits are never flattering.

Now. To my favourite things.
I was terrified going into this movie. For two reasons. 1. Deadpool 1 is my favouritist movie of all time and I didn’t want to see 2 ruin that. And 2. Hugh Jackman had announced that he would no longer play Wolverine. So far, Hugh had been the only person to appear in every single X-Man movie. Not even Stan Lee can claim that. And as much as I respect Hugh’s right to a life and to choose his own career path, I really didn’t want that string to break.
Fortunately, my fear on both was unfounded.
2. Hugh did appear in the movie. And 1. Read on.

There were some great in jokes in this movie. Some that I even questioned they were allowed to make (you know, like the D.C. references that they spoiled in all the trailers). There were some great Origin’s Deadpool jokes again. My favourite being the guns vs. katanas shot on the truck. Oh, and the studio not providing X-Men again. So awesome.
Personally, I think Colossus was much better animated in this movie (though there were some things that were worse. More on this later).
Those moments when Wade just looks straight down the barrel. Some of my favourite jokes, possibly my definite favourite jokes. But I’ve always been a sucker for smashing the Fourth Wall.

I think the thing I loved most about this movie though was that it felt just like the first one. And I don’t mean that it was the same movie and thus redundant. But most 2nd movies feel like a poor man’s 1st movie at best. Dark Knight was an awesome movie, possibly better than its predecessor, but every movie in that series was completely different. This one wasn’t just as good as the first, it felt like the first movie. Like I had turned off the first movie part way through and then not gotten around to seeing the end of it till just now. (Which is possibly what I did with the original IT, if I’m to believe what other people have suggested, but I still haven’t found the guts to try flipping that possibly 2-sided-disk over). It was a very different story, but the tone, the voice, matched. None of the things that made Deadpool 1 great, were missed in this movie. I’ve watched it a few times now, both on its own and back to back with the first, and it just blows my mind how right this movie feels.
And not just the humour. There were some deep emotional moments too.
And the opening credit scene. I was laughing so much at the footage during that scene in the cinema, that I completely forgot I was supposed to be reading the credits until about half way through. Had to wait till the DVD came out to find out what they said. So annoying.

T.J. Miller had some great extra-words-at-the-end-of-a-sentence-containing-all-the-subtle-humour lines again. I really love his delivery.
Domino was a lot of fun. She’s so cute and crazy tough at the same time. And I love the quizzical look she has whenever she walks into a situation.
And can I just take a moment to gush over Josh Brolin. Before this year I had never even heard of Josh, but I have now seen him in a couple of things since Deadpool 2 came out, and I am fast becoming a big fan. He is an incredible actor. Not flashy like a lot of the popular Hollywood guys (whom I’ve never really liked). He has this incredible subtleness-conveying-so-much way of acting. And it’s not just talent. I mean, there may be some natural ability, but let’s look at his Men in Black 3 performance. That was flawless. It was the kind of performance that could only have been achieved by spending hours, days, weeks, studying Tommy Lee Jones. Perfecting a K performance, and then shaping that performance to be a K that was still K, but a K who was younger and not jaded yet. That takes a lot of work. And I’ve no doubt he did the same with Cable. There was so much depth to that performance. He really is a performer deserving of a lot of respect. I can’t wait to stalk his other performances. And that voice. *sigh*
Though I may also be falling in love with Deadpool’s parkour double. The way that guy moves is mesmerising. Truly beautiful. In fact, all of the choreography in this movie was gorgeous, though I may never be able to listen to Enya quite the same way ever again.
I loved Yukio. In fact, I’ve loved both cinematic Yukios. I wonder if I’ll enjoy the comic book version as much. And I absolutely adored Deadpool’s relationship with her.

(quick break whilst my mind gets blown over cameos I did not recognise at all. *the nose finally worked*.  I mean, I missed the Vanisher one, and didn’t really care when I found out about it, but the two guys in the truck just geeked me out!)

Now to the proving that I’m not a brainless, Deadpool can do no wrong, fangirl.

For starters, Negasonic Teenage Warhead is decidedly not a teenager anymore. So now a definite misnomer.

In the first movie you see Wade regrowing his hand, and this one it’s his legs. But in the first movie, the skin was creepy gross. In this one, he has baby legs. Smooth, soft, baby legs. I didn’t buy that at all. His growing legs shouldn’t be nice and smooth, they should have had that same burn look that gave the rest of him.
Also, after he loses the legs he has Domino carry them back, I’m assuming for the pants and guns and stuff (though where does he bury all his lost body parts), because the regrowing legs scene shows he doesn’t do the whole line up and reattach the body part (which I believe I have heard Wolverine does with his head?). But in the scene where Colossus is carrying Wade to the mansion, he’s filling out a body bag, though when Colossus found him, his head was separated from the rest of his body. So, as I understand it, Wade would have regrown his whole body. So why did Colossus collect all the parts? Was it also for the suit? Or to dispose of the rest properly? And how was Wade talking without lungs?…again.

As I said earlier, there were some effects that I felt were worse. The not very cinematic stuff with Domino was obviously intentional, so I won’t count that. But what stood out for me the most, was the eyes. I know Deadpool’s mask had to be animated, cause it was too thick for Ryan’s expressions to show through, but the eyes were just too white. Especially in shadow. It looked like they were glowing all the time. And it really bothered me.

The orphanage and prison for mutants being run buy people who hated mutants was obviously a metaphor, as Deadpool noted about other things. But, I didn’t buy it. I know it’s pre Hank being the mutant secretary, but I found it hard to believe that there wasn’t at least a mutant consultant for these facilities. Again, Deadpool’s year is hard to determine, so maybe it was actually set early enough that that stuff would make sense. But under no circumstances, did it make sense that that orphanage had been torturing kids since Domino was a kid and none of the survivors or Xavier had done anything about it. In fact, in the cinematic universe, Charles turns a blind eye to quite a lot of mutant abuse, and then turns up when it’s no longer an issue.

As to plot, there were two issues for me. Actually, three, but the first was too quick to be an issue. So first was Cable not being there for Wade, but for Russell. That was so ridiculously obvious. You know why? Because they did it in the FIRST X-MAN MOVIE!!! It wasn’t just an obvious trope. It was one they had used before in the same freakin franchise. *growl*
*deep breath*
2nd. I didn’t buy the Juggernaut team up. I mean. I didn’t buy a lot to do with Juggernaut. The mutant power collars, apparently didn’t affect physical changes. Okay. But if they were able to keep Juggernaut in the cell, and then in the truck, how was he suddenly able to punch through a truck and then a bridge?! And even if Juggernaut played nice with Russell to break out, I didn’t get why this super powerful, adult, bad guy, just started following this kid around. I didn’t work for me. But it did allow for a cool CGI fight.

And the biggest thing of all is, I am terrified for any Wilson children. Has Wade not noticed that he’s jinxed?
First movie. Proposes to Vanessa, immediately collapses and is diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Second movie. Whilst celebrating their anniversary (though they’re not wearing rings, so it’s not their wedding anniversary. In fact, I’m not sure if they’re even re-engaged in this movie. So is it their first date anniversary? Their getting back together anniversary? I don’t know), anyway, celebrating their anniversary and planning and trying for their first kid, in all the wrong ways, when Vanessa dies.
So he can enjoy a long and happy life with Vanessa, just as long as there are no major life events. So if he gets a kid in the third movie, that will not end well. I am filled with much dread.

What I am looking forward to, is more Deadpool, more Domino and more Josh Brolin…uh…I mean, Cable.

All in all the positives well outweigh the negatives. Making Deadpool 2 my favourtist movie of all time. Right there alongside Deadpool 1. Congratulations Deadpools. I know how much the opinion of a lone, weird, Australian girl means to you.

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